


√-1

by kalypsobean



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:36:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3251711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalypsobean/pseuds/kalypsobean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid struggles with the events of 10x13. (SPOILERS)</p>
            </blockquote>





	√-1

He's bone-tired when he gets back to his apartment in a way that makes him understand the feeling even if the words don't quite describe it, the way it feels. He can't come back from this, not the same; everything feels irrevocably changed, undone somehow, unfinished. 

Rossi already said that he wasn't the only one with regrets, things left unsaid, and until today he knew it wasn't necessary to make the effort, that things would always be as they were no matter when they picked them back up. They'd all needed time to heal on their own, and Gideon deserved that; if he hadn't needed time away, he would have been there when Reid went looking, all that time ago.

It's not right, though; Reid also knows this in his bones, however irrational it seems, he understands it. His hands shake slightly as he makes a cup of tea, wishes for another moment, that he could just call and Gideon would point him towards figuring it out for himself. 

But he can't, never again.

He sits down on his wingback chair, the mug held in both his hands as if its warmth could flow through his body and make the ache go away. His eyes flick to the bookshelf in the corner, and he's reminded of what's hidden there, wedged behind the copy of _The Sign of Four_ that didn't quite fit anyway.

He does want it all to stop, until he's ready to catch up, until it doesn't hurt and he can focus and he's not distracted by one more memory. It's not rational, all this; it's not easier having known it before, because that was different.

He takes it down, hides it under his pillow. Tomorrow, if it's not better; tomorrow.

He can make it for a night.


End file.
